My kitchen sink has become my worship altar.
There’s a soft mat in front of it I like to stand on in the mornings. I blast “Jireh” by Maverick City Music (go listen now if you haven’t yet!) on our Google Home speaker, and pour my heart out to God every morning. Often, Leeland comes over to me asking to be picked up, puts his head on my shoulder, and lifts his little hand in the air. It’s like worship for him is a natural instinct, and it gets me in my feels every. time.
We are one month in to a four-month deployment with my husband serving overseas. From experience, I know that deployments bring a lot of challenge and adjustment. Deployments bring me to the very end of myself, to be quite honest. Which apparently is right where I need to be.
Right as this deployment started, God reminded me that He’s been preparing Jordan and I for this kind of thing since the very beginning of our relationship. In fact, He specifically pointed out the times He’s separated us for exactly four months. During the first year of our relationship, Jordan studied “abroad” in Memphis for a semester. Four months. A couple years later, he worked as a musician on a cruise ship for a summer. For four months. He spent a couple summers working on ships like that actually. Then, four months into our marriage, Jordan left for basic training for the Air Force. We were apart only 2 months then, but being newlyweds it sure felt much longer!
What God spoke to me was simple.
You were made for this. I’ve actually been preparing you for awhile now.
But friends, if I’m being honest… there are many minutes of every day I truly don’t feel made for any of this. I don’t have the strength, or the patience, or the endurance to parent these three beautiful little people all on my own.
In your weakness, I am strong, Amy.
Notable mention goes out to the many many friends and family members who have been the hands and feet of Jesus this past month. I’ve had friends offer to watch the kids so I can run to COSTCO, come over and mow the lawn, kill poor birds that got stuck in a trap in my garage (so sad!), send me DoorDash for dinner, bring lunch over and hang out on a Saturday before church, drop off wine and soup and say “I can’t fix it, but here” (HA!)… the list goes on! I truly feel every offer as a touch from God. I am so grateful.
Like I said, I am at the end of myself. Holy Spirit, lead me. I’m nothing without You!
One month down, three to go. What else do you have for me, Lord? I know You're not done with me, yet.
I’ll just keep washing dishes and worshiping with my son, and wait on the Lord.
"He is your praise and He is your God, who has done these great and awesome things for you which your eyes have seen."- Deuteronomy 10:21
